The Perfect Holiday
by janesbiotch
Summary: Okay people it's christmas time and it's time that i throw my entry into the mix. 40 year old Brian Kinney just got full custody of his ten year old son Gus and six month old Liddie. What happens when he meets 28 year old Justin? Will they have the perfect holiday? Well you gotta read to find out. it's much better than it sounds and it will be updated daily.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: No Santa!.

"I'm ready for the using!" announced Justin Taylor as he entered the Winter Wonderland of his parents store.

"Oh my, here already and early at that, has hell froze over?" asked his best friend Daphne.

"No, it's just that we finished up early today and well, it's the beginning of my winter holiday, okay so I want to help out this year, I'm in the holiday spirit so sue me."

"Okay, well the costume is in the back but we have bigger problems Justin."

"What?" asked a concerned Justin.

"Sean called and he's not going to be able to be Santa this year, and it's an hour before we open this part up, we can't find a Santa and everyone comes to see Sean anyways."

"Shit, fuck! What the fuck is dad going to do?"

"I have an idea but you're going to have to really involve yourself this year."

"What do you have in mind Daph?"

Justin watched as the grin spread across his friend's face and then she picked up the tights and the striped shirt that the elf normally wore and looked at him.

"Hell no!" screamed Justin.

"Oh come on I'll be gentle." Daphne smiled at her friend as she dragged her friend in the back of the store to get him ready for the kids.

Brian stood in the middle of the lobby in front of his easel trying to visualize the assembly that he was in charge of this year. Kinney Landscaping was not his company. It was his father's and since the old man finally died he was in charge of running it. This was the year they chose to finally pick Kinney Landscaping to do, The Town Square holiday display. He was pissed. It wasn't that he didn't get the company, he did and he had worked for his old man every summer but he was an ad man and he ran his own company. Why the fuck did his mother want him to do this? Oh right, because he loved Christmas. Well he use to, but not after what happened , now he fucking hated it but he had to be strong for others.

"So what have you come up with?" asked his friend Emmett.

"The fuck if I know, but I've got thirty days, I mean we're barely finishing off the damn Thanksgiving turkey and now I have to do this. This was not suppose to be my job he did this, this was his baby."

Emmett stood next to his good friend shaking his head. Brian was always busy, now he was spending the time that he should be mourning his father, being angry at him. Brian's father had just died a week ago in a tragic accident. Investigators were saying that he was drunk but Brian had believed his father when he said that he had stopped drinking a month prior to the tragic accident. But now he doubted that. The accident didn't only take the life of his father but also of Brian's best friend Lindsay and his sister Melanie. Brian should be taking time to grieve but he wasn't, he had thrown himself into work and being angry.

"I'm sorry what did you say?" asked and obviously confused Emmett.

"I said I'm fine and stop looking at me like that. I'm just trying to think and then I have to pick up the kids before my mother has them brainwashed." repeated Brian.

"You should forgive her for what she said, she was just trying to help and she thought that she was helping you out, considering."

"Considering what Honeycutt? My mother called me a whore, told me I was unfit to watch my own children and told me that her filing her motion, was for my own good. She wasn't trying to take them away from me because she thought I was a bad father, she just thought that it would be better if they were with her. Oh, then she threw in and it's not because you're gay honey, it's just the type of gay that you are, what's up with that?"

"Forgive her okay, the two of you need to come to an agreement, besides she had a point and don't call me Honeycutt!"

Brian stared at his friend, he really was getting pissed, what did people really think of him? After the holidays things were going to get bad, he knew it and he really needed to know what his friends thought of the life he lead and if they were on his side.

"I need to ask you something and be honest. Do you think that Liddie and Gus are better off without me?"

"I wouldn't say better off, Brian you love those kids and they love you. Gus can't stop talking about you, he's ten and he loves you and Liddie well she's new so she's just getting to know you. But whenever she hears your voice, her eyes light up and she just knows that you're her daddy. Brian, you like to have fun and well, the question your mother is asking is if you are ready to stop partying and be a father."

"Of course I am! Besides, why do I have to stop partying? I just have to know when to do it. I mean look at Michael. He's in the same boat as I am, he and the professor have a kid."

"Yea, but well the kind of relationship they have is different than you, and yours."

Brian stared at him before he asked his question.

"What was wrong with them?"

"Okay first there was Derrick, who was gorgeous, but he worked for a traveling nude circus."

"So?"

"We came to your birthday party at the Hyatt and he was hanging all out."

"Okay okay, fine I get your point. But come on, if it came down to it, do you think they'd give my kids to my mother? Things could get ugly. I could tell what she did when we were growing up, but she'd just get away with it, because they'll say that she was a battered wife, she was, even I can't deny her that. Then if it comes down to it, she can use the medical reason why."

"You really think that she would use that against you?"

"I hope not."

"Well I'm going to let you get to it, I have to go and meet George."

"Later Em, and thanks even though you were more of a distraction than any help."

Emmett smiled at his friend. Brian liked to make folks think that he was one of the meanest people around, but truth be told, he was one of the sweetest men he knew.

Gus Kinney was getting bored fast. He stood in line with his grandmother to see "Santa". He for one knew that there was no such thing. He knew that it was Sean. Sean was great, he had met him four years ago when he was visiting his dad. Sean and his dad were part of a club, for survivors. He didn't know what that meant, what kind of survivor they were because the mommies and all the other adults were secretive when it came to that kind of thing, like he was a kid. He was no kid. He was ten he was a man. That's why he enjoyed being around his dad, because his dad treated him like a person and not a kid. His grandmother didn't think he knew but he did, he knew she wanted them for herself.

"How fucking much longer is this going to take!" screamed Gus.

Joan Kinney tried to paste a smile on her face, as she saw all the looks she was getting from the mothers, as she stood in line with her grandchildren to see Santa.

"Augustus Kinney you will not use such vulgar language! Yet another trait you're picking up from your father. I will have to talk to him about that later. He should know by now that you are like a sponge, you pick up on everything."

"Yea I'm a sponge and I'm soaking up all your bull…."

"Enough Gus!" Joan screamed as she cut off his train of thought.

"Now go on and tell the nice man what you want for Christmas."

Gus looked up where he expected to see Sean all decked out in his Santa suit, but instead was some pasty white kid. There was a big sign that said Sunshine Santa's Special Elf.

"Fuck!" Gus whispered to himself as he took a seat on the man's lap.

"So tell me young man, what do you want for Christmas?" Justin said in his happiest voice even though he was so pissed at what he was wearing and the way he looked.

"Where's Sean?" Gus asked.

"Sean who?" Justin asked politely, even though if looks could kill, this kid would be dead with the look he was giving him.

"I mean Santa." Gus said obviously getting the hint from the look.

"Santa is very busy, after all it's Christmas time so I'm filling in for a couple of days. Now tell me, what do you want me to tell him you want for Christmas?"

Gus really needed to talk to Sean. Sean and his dad were friends and he knew that Sean would do anything for him if he just asked. But he wasn't around and well ,this kid couldn't do anything. He looked about eighteen. He probably was a Senior or something, but this was what he wanted to see "Santa" anyway, he looked at his grandmother waiting impatiently with Liddie so he decided what the hell.

"I want a new daddy." Gus whispered.

Justin didn't know what to say. The poor kid wanted a new daddy. Was his real daddy abusing him? Should he call someone? What could you really say to a kid who asked something like that?

"Excuse me?" Justin stuttered.

"Yea you see I need a new daddy because last week my moms were killed and well, all I have now is my dad, and my grandmother feels that since he lives alone and likes to date A LOT that she would be a better mom for me and she wants me and Liddie to come and live with her."

"I don't know if Santa could fill such a big order before Christmas."

"I know that and I know that there's no Santa Claus I was looking for Sean. He knows my dad and he would have done it if I asked him, but you were here. Who the hell ever heard of a stupid Special Elf, what are you the slow elf. The one no one likes and this is the way Santa makes you feel worthy?"

"Hey!" Justin said upset by the kid's attitude.

"Tell me kid, where can I find your dad? Maybe I can get Santa to help you out."

Gus looked up into the face of the elf. He really did look sort of odd, and he had been watching all those silly Christmas movies with his mothers lately about elves, and angels and people coming down to earth on Christmas bringing good cheer and what not. Maybe this kind of stuff does happen. He looked out in the crowd to see if his father was still at his drafting table he saw him at earlier. But he wasn't he had already walked into the store.

"That's him!" Gus practically screamed to Justin.

Justin looked up and he couldn't explain the feeling that came over him when he saw that face. It was like he was staring at the face of God. He was single and he hadn't made many plans to occupy his time, while he was on his vacation. So maybe, just maybe he could throw this kid a bone and get to know this sex god that stood about six feet away.

"I'll do it."

"Do what?" asked an obviously confused Gus.

"I'll tell Santa and we'll see if we can help. Now go back to your grandmother."

As Gus jumped from his lap, Justin called out to his Mrs. Claus, Daphne and told her he needed a break. Just the look of the boy's father was making his "Candy Cane" rise up for attention. That wasn't good wasn't good at all, but helping out this kid now that could be something special, maybe just maybe, Santa brought him what he always wanted for Christmas.


	2. Chapter 2

p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Chapter 2: Coming or Going?/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian had just finished brainstorming on what he was going to do with the display and still he had no idea. They wanted him to do both the inside and the outside of the entire mall for Christmas. This was not his deal, but he'd do it for Jack. Near the end Jack had finally realized what he had done to Brian as a child, Brian had forgiven him. But they said that Jack had been drunk, and the thought of that made tears come to his eyes. Brian had been the one who had to identify the bodies. All of a sudden, he was torn from his thoughts by a squeal of his name. He looked up into huge blue orbs./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Molly!" Brian squealed back./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian liked Molly Taylor. He had met her right before his thirtieth birthday. She was young and she had ridden her bike down to Liberty Avenue looking for her brother. He was nowhere to be found though but she had walked in front of a car and fell of her bike. Brian had taken her to the hospital that night and she was there when Gus was born. They had been sort of friends since, even though she was about ten back then. She was twenty now and going to become a lawyer./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Hey Moll, you home for the holidays?" asked Brian/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Yea dad finally got me to come back. I'll admit I didn't want to come down, I mean Morgan and I are happy and we had plans to go someplace sunny but dad wants everyone home this year, he's even trying to get Justin this year to stay over."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Awe yes Justin Taylor, you tell me he exists but I have yet to see him."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Oh you're in luck he's right over…..damn you must've missed him he was on elf duty."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I was so sorry to hear about Mel, I tried to make it but the funerals were so quick why was that?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""My mom didn't take it too well, she's not taking it too well. She's lost now without Melanie and she thinks that she might have been a horrible mother to us. In some cases she was, now she thinks that she can save her soul by saving the souls of my children. She filed a motion trying to get joint custody with me, but she wants them to be in her home."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Oh Brian I'm so sorry, I work for a good firm, they have great lawyers there if you need help just say the word."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Thanks mollusk, speaking of the devil I see my children. I'll talk to you later."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Mother what are you doing here?" Brian asked through gritted teeth./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""What does it look like? It's Christmas time and I thought Lindsey would want to have her picture taken with Santa."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""There's no Santa here, and Liddie won't remember any of this, I came down here because you wanted me too and I talked to the people about dad's commission but all I want to do now is go home and put Gus to bed and sleep."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""What has gotten into you. You love Christmas, I've seen how your face lights up the past years. The smile that I have seen, I never saw when you were growing up."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""What was there to smile about growing up? Oh, thanks I didn't die when I was thrown down the stairs or worse."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Daddy?" came the voice of a concerned Gus./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Brian this is not the time or place to discuss this. Look you're upsetting the boy."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""He's not upset I have no secrets from him, he knows about my life and what happened to me."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Brian you have got to be kidding me, you wouldn't tell a small boy what happened when you were younger? He wouldn't understand."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I told him what a bad mother and a bad father could cause him. I told him what the difference between a mother who said I love you but turned away and a mother who barely said I love you but showed it in more ways then he could ever imagine."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Lindsay never told Gus she loved him?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Melanie couldn't because of dad. Now come on Sonnyboy lets go."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""No dad, remember I'm suppose to go to church with Grandma tomorrow you promised I could go."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian couldn't believe that he wanted to go with Joan and not him. It would be easy for her to take him if this type of thing persisted. He would not show the hurt in his heart. He pasted on his best smile./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Fine but she's going to bring you home at noon and we'll go to the diner for a special lunch okay?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Okay daddy, I love you and I'll see you tomorrow."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Gus ran to his father and was happy when his father knelt for him to hug him and peck him on the cheek. His dad didn't like much PDA but he obliged when it came to him and his sister. He didn't really want to go with his grandmother. But he wanted to go to church, he just didn't want to go with her tonight. Gus remembered what he told "Sunshine" and well maybe he would help out tonight, his dad had to be at his other job so he would stay with his grandmother./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian really couldn't stay mad at Gus. When he looked at him, he saw himself. It was strange looking at Gus now though, because he also saw Melanie. The dark hair which was just like hers and the eyes. He took Liddie out of the carrier and smelled her. She smelled of strawberries just like Lindsay. She was blonde just like her as well, that's why they had named her Lindsay. They thought it would be cute, then Brian had started calling her Liddie and no one liked that but now that Lindsay was gone, he just couldn't bring himself to say that name anymore. So she would forever be Liddie in his book. He could feel the emotion that he always tried his best to hide away creeping up on him as he wiped a tear from his eyes./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Brian?" asked a concerned Joan./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I'm fine." Brian practically barked as he shoved his mother's hand from his shoulder./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;" /p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""My god Justin don't you think that you've done enough resting? The kids are getting restless and there are only about a dozen left and then we can get on with our lives." yelled a desperate Daphne./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Daphne was his best friend she had seen him through a bashing, joining a gang, being blown up at a nightclub, and just about everything in between. She was great. They were best friends and they shared an apartment. He could tell her anything, he just didn't know how she would take it./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Justin are you alright?" asked a concerned Daphne./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Daph have you ever felt like you could have everything in your life and it's perfect. You did everything like you were suppose too but then in the end something just isn't right?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Justin you're really starting to scare me, what's going on?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I was out there just now being "Sunshine" and you will not believe what this little boy asked for. He asked for a daddy."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""What? That's awful. Which one is he? Is he still out there?" Daph asked as she pulled the curtain and looked out into the chaos of kids./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""No his dad came and they left with his grandmother."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Wait I'm not following you." said a still obviously confused Daphne./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Daphne sat there and listened to her friend, tell her the tale about dead mothers and court cases and how this little boy wanted a father for his father so they could stay together but still there was just something about this story that made absolutely no sense. There had to be a reason for her friend to be so upset./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Justin people are waiting. What has got you so upset and why is it, that you want to help out this little boy and his father? I mean, I understand anyone would want to help out a kid and his dad, but you are overly into this, what's up?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Justin looked at his friend and thought to himself could she be trusted. Would she believe him for once finally? Or would she still think he was nuts. He decided to go for it./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""It was him Daphne. It's been what three, four years and well, it was him."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Daphne held back the groan that desperately wanted to escape her lips. She knew who exactly "him" was. Actually for awhile she didn't believe in the legend of "him". You see, it had all started the night that Justin informed her that he was going down to Liberty Ave. to find a guy and fuck him. She wanted to go with him but she had a cold and was home in bed. She had let him take her car and they were keeping each other informed by cell. She was his cover story./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"According to Justin, he was leaning up against some lamppost watching this club called Babylon's patrons leave and according to him "the face of god" came walking out with a guy in some pink leather pants. Just when their eyes met and it looked as if he was walking Justin's way, I called him and told him he needed to get back. So according to him I cock blocked him./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"That's not where it ends though, according to Justin later that night when he went to see his sister in the hospital, who had broken her arm after a fall she'd taken, he saw the guy on the roof with his boyfriend. Justin had gone to the roof to take a smoke so he was disappointed when he saw them. Justin is certain that over the years they've met and I didn't believe him. I mean I didn't until the prom./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Justin was always bold and on prom night he went with his boyfriend, Chris Hobbs. Everyone was shocked when Chris came out of the closet and shocked even more, when he decided that he wanted Justin as his main squeeze. Justin and Chris had ended up fighting at the prom because Justin wouldn't blow him in the bathroom so we left. We ended up, crashing this huge wedding of some lesbians that was being held in the same hotel, that's when I saw him./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"He was obviously drunk because he walked up like he knew us and he asked Justin to dance. The dance they shared could only be described as HOT and the kiss, man the kiss was excellent, but it was over quick, when a woman in a matching suit as "his" walked up and slapped him right in the face. She was screaming about he always had to ruin things, and why couldn't he let her be happy or something. I think he had slept with her new wife or something like that but yea she and Justin ended up running down to the parking lot. Chris was so angry at what Justin had done, that he bashed him in the head with a baseball bat and…./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Daphne was torn from her thoughts by Justin's voice./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I'm sorry what?" she asked./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Jesus where'd you go? It was like you were lost in space."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I was just thinking about him."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Exactly Daph so now you see why I have to help this kid. I mean it's been two years since our eyes locked and they locked on each other a few minutes ago. I haven't seen him since Molly's graduation."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Justin are you sure he was there?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I'm sure, listen I can't see anymore kids today. Tell Molly and my mom and my dad that I just had to go, okay. I need to relax. I came here straight from work."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Where are you heading?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Babylon of course see you later."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;" /p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian stood on the balcony over the dance floor at his club trying to feel the beat. He knew that he was getting to old for this, he was approaching forty but damn he needed to drink, he needed to drug, he needed to feel numb. No, scratch that, he didn't want to feel anything. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Melanie and Lindsay. They weren't alive though, it was the bodies he saw down at the morgue. He would never be able to scratch that from his memory. That's why he had them cremated. He couldn't see them in boxes he just couldn't./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"He continued to stare at the bodies as they gyrated to the thumpa thumpa, and that's when his eyes locked on him. He was blond, he was young, and he had seen him before. It didn't matter, he hadn't fucked him yet and it was time to let off some steam and get rid of all this tension./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Michael Novotny walked around the club frantically looking for Brian. He knew Brian, and he knew what was going on? Joan Kinney was trying to teach Brian a lesson, make him finally grow up. She didn't really want the kids, but she wanted to see if Brian would fight for them. He would fight, first he would do a lot of boozing and tricking. Especially to get over Mel. Mel was Brian's other half she was his sister, heck she was more than that she was….he was torn from his thoughts by a familiar face./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Hey Todd, how's it going?" asked Michael./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I'm fine." he replied./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Have you seen Brian?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Yea he was up there." Todd said gesturing up to the balcony./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"By the time Michael looked up, he saw Brian heading out with a young blond in tow./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"It was really hard for Brian to drive. The blond, who was only referring to himself as "Sunshine," was giving him the best blow job that he'd ever received in his life, as he sped off to his loft. There was just something about this young man. First, he liked the fact that he was young, and judging but the bulge in his pants he was very well endowed, for such a little fellow. It must be the drugs, but Brian knew, he knew this kid from somewhere. But the drugs were clouding his mind./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Do I know you?" Brian asked as they entered his building./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""No." whispered Justin./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Are you sure?" Brian couldn't believe he was asking this question but yea he was./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Maybe you saw me in your dreams, do you want to do this or not?" asked a overly aroused Justin./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Yes lets."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian opened the door to his loft and they stumbled in. Brian tried to lead Justin to the couch but they just ended up on the massive black rug that Brian had in the center of his living room. Justin straddled Brian and rubbed his erection against Brian's through the jeans, before standing up and slowing removing the blue jeans he wore revealing he wasn't wearing any underwear./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian tried his best to suppress the moan that escaped, when he saw this porcelain snow angel standing before him. The boy has the whitest alabaster skin he'd ever seen. He just knew he had to suck, nibble, or lick ever inch of it. He looked him from top to bottom pausing at the boys huge, hardened cock. He didn't expect it to be that big on such a little frame. Just looking at it made his mouth water and he himself hardened and begged to be released from his jeans, so he too removed his jeans and wife beater and attacked the boy with wild unchoreographed kisses as their erections rubbed against each other sending wild jolts of electricity throughout their bodies./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian lowered the boy gently to the floor and begin to kiss down his stomach until he was face to face with his fine blond pubes. He couldn't help himself he leaned in and gave them a little whiff. He couldn't help the smile that spread across his face when he smelt the sweet strawberry masculine smell, that was Justin. He took two of his fingers and slowly eased them inside Justin and was turned on when he heard the loud gasp that escaped his lips and the suction of his body trying to claim his fingers./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Wait!" Justin shrieked rising to his feet./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""There's something you should know I'm a top."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian couldn't help himself he had to laugh the kid was so adorable as he stood there stark naked hard as a rock claiming to be a top. He knew he had this kid. He wasn't going anywhere./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Oh don't worry, soon you'll be on TOP of my dick." Brian said through a smile./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I'm serious, I don't bottom for anyone, not even you." Justin said, as he was going to stand his ground. Justin attempted to gather his clothes as he walked toward Brian's door. He slide the door open and he didn't even care that he was still naked./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian couldn't explain the feeling that he felt when he looked into those eyes. He didn't attempt to put on his clothes as he walked toward Justin very slowly. When he got face to face with Justin he took Justin's hand and placed in on his cock. Justin begin to slowly jack him, watching how Brian's face changed each time he slide his cock out of his hand./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Without loosing his rhythm and trying his best not to let on what feeling Justin's hand around his cock was doing to him, Brian gritted through his teeth. "No one is going to make you do anything you don't want to do, but I'm a top. So you have to decide, if you're coming, or going, or coming then going, or coming and staying."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Justin watched Brian's eyes as he made his statement. The silence between them made his ears hurt, but Brian never lost his rhythm sliding his cock in and out of his fist and one last thrust, and Justin wasn't surprised when Brian shot his load. He looked down at his fist and back at Brian and said. "I'm staying and there will be a whole lot of coming." he said as he slide the door to the loft shut./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;" /p 


	3. Chapter 3

p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Chapter 3/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"The morning sun coming in through the window in Brian's bedroom was blinding. He needed coffee, maybe two cups. No, scratch that he needed a pot because whatever Anita gave him last, she had to have cooked up in Tijuana. He turned to look at the alarm clock and was shocked when two blue eyes were staring back at him./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Good morning Sunshine." Brian whispered./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Good morning Brian." Justin simply replied./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""What time is it? I have to get to work by eleven." asked Justin./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""It's almost ten, I could drop you off if you'd like there's somewhere I have to be."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Justin thought about telling Brian what he did for a living but nope that was not important. He wanted to get to know Brian and let him fall for him, then when he told him what he did for a living it wouldn't bother him. Who was he kidding? Brian would be pissed that he lied and then they'd break up. He had to help that kid. Speaking of him, where the hell was he? Matter of fact where were either one of them?/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian had disappeared up the stairs and Justin couldn't help himself, he did what anyone would do, he plundered. All he really knew was that he was "Him" and that the kid at the store was his son. He couldn't even remember what the kid said his name was and all he had gotten from Brian was a Brian. So he quickly went for the mail on the island in the kitchen, and flipped through it. When he saw the name, he thought he would go nuts. Brian Kinney! Brian fucking Kinney! Just like that, images flashed before his eyes of the two women and the old man. The accident, the lights, doing everything that he could and then he remembered sneaking in to view their bodies. Damn he fucked him, and he was the one who stole his family. God, Jesus really did hate him didn't he?/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Joan sat comfortably in Debbie's kitchen. For the longest time she hated this woman. When Brian would get hurt or worse he'd run to her and she would take him in and be a mother to him. Why couldn't she do that? Why was she so closed off to her emotions? She didn't know but she did know that was a trait that her son picked up from her, everything else he gotten from Jack and because of that, it is why she feared for the children./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""You really can't be serious can you Joan?" Deb shouted./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""What? I'm doing the right thing, did you see his last "Boyfriend"?/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""What Eric was a very nice young man and he was talented at what he did."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Deb he was a tattoo artist and he was 24. Brian is a father now that is not the kind of person that he needs to have around his children. He can't just go around acting that way. He has made a name for himself around here. Everyone knows who Brian Kinney is and most of the time I'm more than proud to say that he is my son, he came from me but the further I move down the street, the words of him get more tainted and I feel dirty."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Before you do something like this Joan, before you get ready to fight him in court, think about what he might be feeling right now, not only did he lose his sister he lost Lindsay and Jack. He had finally forgiven his father for the hardships that he caused him as a child and I saw them together the past couple of months they were really becoming father and son."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Exactly. When Brian and Jack were together and he was sober, they were practically the same person and that is what scares me the most Deb. What is going to happen when Gus does something that Brian doesn't approve of? Am I suppose to stand back and watch Gus get hurt? I love that boy so much I can't let that happen."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Oh really, seems like it would be so easy for you, I mean didn't you do that all of Brian's life."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Debbie knew that maybe, just maybe she was being a bit harsh but it just got to her, that Joan didn't see what she was doing at a bad thing. She thought that Brian was destined to be like his father and she wanted Brian to be more like Michael but truth be told, Deb wanted Michael to be more like Brian. Confident, successful, and strong. Not that she didn't love her boy, it was just he could be whinny./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Justin couldn't keep the smile off his face, Brian was such a caring person. He had taken his shower and had given Justin a robe and toiletries and told him to take his time and he'd give him a ride. Justin still thought it was odd, that in this fine home with all this space, was no sign of actual children. Maybe the kid hadn't pointed at Brian and he'd just thought he had, but that wouldn't explain the what he had done to Brian's family. He took a long shower and tried to forget, soaking up the atmosphere, because he knew now that this would be the last time he'd be here. Justin quickly dried himself and went to the mirror. He wiped the steam from it, thinking, since he had practically looked through everything in the house, he might as well check out the medicine cabinet./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Justin was thrilled that so far all he found was six bottles and none of the first three had anything to do with sexual stimulants, so at least at Brian's age he could still get it up all on his own. Although Brian did have a lot of things for anti aging but that was something that he didn't need. Brian was gorgeous. He picked up one of the last three bottles and read what was on the label, he thought about his night with Brian. Nothing he did, pointed to the fact that he would need this, and then Justin picked up the next bottle and he thought he'd die./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Lose something?" Brian said obviously scaring Justin./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Justin turned around to see Brian standing there in a suit looking edible with a smirk on his face. He frantically try to control himself, he couldn't let on to Brian what he had found, that was none of his business and it wasn't like it was Aids medication, it was just something he'd never expected./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I just have a bitch of a headache and I was seeing if you had any aspirin." Justin lied./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""No only got baby aspirin, but help yourself to some Tylenol."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""One Tylenol and I'll fall dead right here, I'm allergic."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""No one's allergic to Tylenol, that's what they give people who are allergic to everything else."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Well I am." Blushed Justin hoping Brian didn't realize what he had done./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian walked over to Justin, he didn't know why, he just had to touch him even though he was all wet and he didn't want to mess up his suit. He walked over and ran his hand through Justin's hair and leaned in for a kiss. He just had to taste him once more and fast./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Hurry up and get ready, I'll drop you off."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian was about to say something else, when he heard the buzzer sound and his mother announcing her arrival./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Stay here, I'll get rid of her."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Joan entered Brian's apartment and couldn't help but smile, the renovations that he had told her about were very good. He had bought the loft above his and now it was a two floor apartment. Maybe he could do this. Maybe he could make the transition into adulthood./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Dad we're back!" screamed Gus./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian could all ready tell that his mother was pissed, when he walked into view and she frowned because he was wearing a suit. He could spend time with his children and still wear a suit. Besides, they like going to Kinnetik, and his employees loved his family. He had to get her out of here before "Sunshine" came out. Oh, and he had to find out what "Sunshine's" actual name was./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Brian, I thought you were going to spend today with the kids?" asked Joan/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I am mom, we have a fun day planned. We're going to go and find a Santa, and take some pictures, and then it's off to find a tree."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""A tree, you're going to put a tree here in your loft with lights and such?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""No mother, I'm going to put it outside. Where the fuck do you think it's going to be? It's Christmas and we've got to get some normalcy around here."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Gus had a bad dream last night Brian, and you need to talk to him about it."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian looked around to see if Gus was there, but he saw that he had gone upstairs. He took Liddie from his mother's arms before they continued there conversation./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""What kind of dream?" asked Brian/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""He said that he was in a house and you were gone. He didn't have any mommies and you were gone as well, he was all alone."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Well if that were to come true mother, we all know that it would be your fault."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Gus knew that his grandmother and father were about to get into it, so he decided to run upstairs to his father's room and eat some of his hidden candy. His father pretended like he cared about looking good, but under his bed he kept a chest of candies and cookies that he'd eat, when no one was looking. Gus was shocked when he came face to face with the elf from the store./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Sunshine?" Gus questioned./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Hey, how are you this morning?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""What the fuck are you doing here? In my dad's room?" Gus asked arching an eyebrow just like Brian./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I was here talking to your dad, you know, trying to get information for Santa, so he could help you with your little problem."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Right, and I guess afterwards you're going to go and meet the Easter Bunny for some tea." Gus spat sarcastically./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Justin couldn't help but smile when this kid opened his mouth, he was adorable and just like Brian. God leaving them would be so hard. Justin was torn from his thoughts by the shouting from downstairs./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian paced back and forth with Liddie while he shouted at his mother./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Damn it mother! I am not a child, as you can see I'm holding my child and I can take care of them! Why are you doing this to me?!"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Brian, you are just not getting what I'm trying to do. I just want to keep them. You can see them anytime you want. I'm helping you, and then when you are well and in a good place, and are ready to take care of them you can have them back."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""You listen here Joan and you listen good, I had to put up with this shit with Melanie and Lindsay, but they are gone now and these kids are mine! I'm going to fight you on this. But right now we're going to paste on happy little faces, because it's Christmas and we're going to have a perfect holiday. But when it's over, it's over you get me Joan."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Joan was about to say something but she saw the twitching of that little vein in Brian's forehead. It reminded her a lot of Jack's. She would have to mark that down for future reference. She calmed down and was about to leave, when she saw Gus coming down the stairs with a blonde./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""What's going on here? You could hear the two of you all the way upstairs?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Sunshine, this is my mother, she was just leaving. Get your stuff we're about to go."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Brian Kinney, I know you don't have one of your "Dates" here, when you're children were coming over?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"The way she said date was not lost on Brian and he wasn't going to let her get away with this../p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""You will not speak to Sunshine that way, you got it mother!"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Joan looked from Brian to Justin and she couldn't help the smile that was trying to form on her face. Had he done it, had her baby grown up and gotten himself a man?/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Who is this Brian?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""He's no one, we're just leaving, come on mother I'll walk you out."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Joan was not about to let Brian leave the house with her grandchildren, with his latest conquest in the car with her children. She was going to have to say something and quick./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Brian I am not going to-/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Mrs. Kinney I'm so happy that you and I are finally getting to meet each other. I've been waiting for this a long time. I see where your daughter Melanie, got her looks from."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Joan couldn't stop the blush that crept up her cheeks, she always thought that Melanie and Brian looked like there father, but for this guy to say this, well it was nice to get a compliment and from someone so young./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Why thank you, Sunshine is it?" asked Joan How long have you know my Brian?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I've known Brian, for about six months now and I've been dying to meet you and the rest of his family. But you know Brian, he likes to keep things a secret, and it's Justin only Brian gets to call me Sunshine."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Oh, oh my, so you and Brian are a couple?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Mother I don't think it's any of your fu-"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Yes! Brian and I are together." said Justin cutting Brian off./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Oh, well I think I'll join you all for breakfast and get to know you better."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Mom, Justin just got in and I don't think I need to spend my morning off with my-"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""We'd love to have you join us, isn't that right Gus?" Asked Justin looking at Gus hoping he'd get the hint./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Oh yea, come on daddy lets have breakfast with grandma and Sunshine."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Anything for you Gus," Brian replied unlocking his car door and placing Liddie in her car seat./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Awe Sunshine, a word over here before we leave dear."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Shit." Justin thought as he walked toward Brian./p 


	4. Chapter 4

p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"To say the ride to where ever we were going was awkward, would be an understatement. I knew that we were on Liberty Avenue, a place that I being a gay man rarely went. I mean I love my people and am out and proud but I've always been the kind of guy that doesn't like to draw attention to themselves. Scratch that, I wasn't that kind of guy until I took the bat to the head. Doing something like that can change your perspective, you know./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Don't Panic!" "You can do this." That's what Brian Kinney kept telling himself as he walked with his mother and his two kids towards The Diner. He hoped no one was inside that knew him and his thoughts were not lost on the looks of the guys who saw him walking with his "family". He didn't care if they had that look, if they saw him with Gus who was babbling with Justin about something and Liddie who he held securely on his shoulder, but to think that Justin was apart of the unit well that was another story. Okay maybe it wasn't maybe he really didn't care what anyone thought. Now he just hoped that no one was inside that he knew./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"He walked inside and there sat "the gang" in a back booth and look there's the woman who considered herself his other mother. Oh yea, this was going to be fun./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Who the hell is that?" asked a confused Michael as Brian walked into the diner, ignored them and sat across from them with his mother and some blonde./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I don't know but he definitely is a cutie and I was with Brian all day yesterday and he didn't mention anyone" said a very nosy Emmett Honeycutt./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Well, they're obviously out as a family, so what we're going to do is sit here and mind our own business, if Brian wants us involved he'll invite us over," said Michael's husband Ben trying to be the voice of reason./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Oh please." Shrieked Emmett and Michael in Unison./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Look at him Ben, what do you think they are saying?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""As I said Michael, it's really none of our business."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""So Justin you just got back into town, where were you?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Mother I don't think that is any of your business, why did you decide to join us this morning anyway?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Justin hated that Brian was getting upset. He didn't need to get upset, if he had learned anything this fine morning about Brian he learned that Brian was the type of person that didn't need to be upset./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""It's okay Brian, I mean your mother came over this morning and found me with your son and I guess she have the right to want to know some things. But yea, I was in New York putting on a show."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Joan tried to keep the look off her face. He was a performer, God she thought that Brian had grown up, but look at this boy. Now that she really looked at him, all she saw was a boy and now he was a performer, he is probably in one of those boy bands or god forbid a magician. She had to get out of here and she had to get this sea urchin away from her grandkids./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Justin could see the wheels turning in one Joan Kinney's head. She was all smiles but now she is wondering, what is he? Well, he's lots of things. Murderer of late, but yea, the wheels in her head were turning and it was time that he put a look of shock, on her face. Yea, this was going to be good./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Yes, Mrs. Kinney I'm an artist, I just had a little show at an art gallery in New York."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Oh, a little show, to sell your little pictures, so what did that give you like a few thousand or so, I would love to see your work."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Well, I'm putting together a show here at the Sydney Bloom Gallery, I did one a few months back and my highest piece sold for about thirty thousand."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian was eating his breakfast and he thought he'd choke when he said his highest piece sold for thirty thousand. He fucking knew it did, it was now sitting in the lobby of Kinnetik offices. That meant that the cute blonde sitting before him was Justin Taylor. Fucking Justin Taylor, the mollusk's brother./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Well fuck me." Brian didn't realize that he had said it out loud./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""What is it Brian?" asked a concerned Joan./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I brought that it's now hanging up in Kinnetik."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Joan was disgusted, apparently this young man couldn't sell anything and he needed Brian to buy his drawings for him. What had Brian gotten himself into. He definitely wasn't growing up, but to look at the two of them, you could so tell that Brian was now one Smitten Kitten./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Oh no Brian, that one was special for you. Molly told me about that one, it only was sold for about fifteen hundred and thanks for that by the way, but the painting I was speaking of went to a man in Maine. He paid thirty thousand for this one and remember I told you last month he bought one for sixty."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""You sold a painting for sixty thousand dollars!" shouted Joan./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Say it a little louder mother I don't think they heard you at the back table." Spat Brian./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I'm sorry, I just, wow, you are something else Justin Taylor. Listen I'm intruding, I'm going to let the two of you get back to spending your family time. I need to go to the church and see a couple of my friends anyways"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Are you Mrs. Kinney, we wouldn't mind if you spent the day with us, isn't that right Brian."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""No, not at all."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""No I'm going to let you boys get to it. I'll call you tonight Brian. Come here Gus give Grandma a kiss."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Justin knew that he has done the right thing, now Joan thinks that Brian has a good relationship going, and maybe just maybe, she'll leave him be, at least for the holidays, so Brian and his family can have a good time. He watches Brian, as Brian watches Gus tell his grandmother goodbye, and he can see the love that he has for the little boy written all over his face, he can even see the love that he has for Joan. It really did hurt, that he wasn't going to be able to help him. I mean, this was all that Gus wanted for Christmas, but he couldn't be the one to do it, he just couldn't. Brian would never forgive him, once what he did to his family came out. Yes, now was the time to leave. He grabbed his bag and walked out of the back of the diner./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian was glad that his mother was finally gone. He wanted to talk to Justin, now that he finally knew who he was exactly. Molly had always told him, that he and Justin would be perfect for each other, well now it looked like he was going to get his chance. He turned back to the table and was surprised to find Justin's seat empty./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Gus did you see where Sunshine went?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""No daddy, I was saying goodbye to Grandma."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Grab your coat, let's see if we can find him."/p 


	5. Chapter 5

In this chapter you get to know a little more about Brian Kinney, and you get to know what the pills Justin found in his medicine cabinet for.

Oh also LGS is a rare form of Epilepsy.

Chapter 5: The Real Brian Kinney

Cynthia stood at Brian's desk just watching him. That's what Cynthia's job was in times like this. She was suppose to watch and be there if he needed her but she wasn't suppose to act. It was easier now to do such things, now that Brian owned the company that he worked at. Now in the days of Vanguard and even Ryder things were different. People would panic, people that wouldn't understand thought Brian was a freak. It didn't happen often, but when it did, Brian would disappear from work for awhile so it would die down and the looks of sympathy would stop.

So yea, her job was to watch. She was his advocate, the person that he could trust. She would stand there and if it lasted longer than five minutes then that was when it was time to panic. She looked at her watch and it had been three minutes. Two more and then it would be time to panic.

Brian could feel the fog being lifted. He hated his life. He looked around and there she was, standing there watching him. It hadn't happened in so long. It was the fault of that Justin fucking Taylor! Disappearing like that and then forcing him to drag two kids around all day looking for him. Even though Gus insisted he knew where he was, but how could he know where he was exactly.

"Brian, are you okay?" asked an obviously concerned Cynthia.

Brian was about to say something evil but one look at her and her genuine concern, changed his mind.

"I'm fine, how long was it?" Brian asked.

"Not that long, I was standing here about three minutes, no one saw and it's not like you were….. Cynthia trailed off when she realized what she was about to say. How could she be so insensitive. She caught herself before she said something to make this moment more awkward than it ever is.

Brian was half listening, as he took a check of himself. He knew his name, he knew how he got there, he knew where he was, he knew all the essentials and there was no need to panic. He looked at the clock and he knew that it had only been eight minutes. So it was good now he would just get Liddie and….

"You're fine, she and Gus went down to bake cookies in the daycare, no one saw anything not even them." responded Cynthia reading Brian's mind.

"Good now where do we stand on Olivia Chambers shouldn't she be here by now?"

Brian changing the subject was not lost on Cynthia but she decided that she would let it go for now.

"Her assistant Walter called and said that she is no longer interested in our services."

"Why the fuck not?" asked an agitated Brian.

"Hey you calm down, you saw what just happened. But apparently her assistant told her about the Brian Kinney of the world and she found out that you were not the man she wanted associated with her fine family establishment."

"Oh I see Walter Cortes, he puts the Ass in Assistant, doesn't she know I'm all about family?"

Cynthia tried not to laugh at that statement from Brian. In all reality Brian wasn't really about family. What he did for his sister was amazing and he did love Lindz, I mean after all she was his girlfriend first. When she thought about there little threesome she didn't know if she could've done the things that Brian could have done. Not considering his condition he was surprised anyone would want a kid that might be like him.

"No boss, I don't think she got that memo."

"Okay I got to fucking get down to the complex and do that fucking assembly, this wasn't part of the plan. God I'll have to call Lindz and tell her to come and pick up the-.

Cynthia was hoping that Brian wouldn't catch on to what he had said, but he did and she saw the twitch of his lips and she was thankful he was going to crack. She and his mother had been waiting on this since Thanksgiving,, things would be better after this. But Brian put his mask back up and shuffled the papers on his desk.

"Okay Cyn find out where that bitch is, I need her account and I'm going to get it."

"Already did, she's in Perrington Park, it's family day she's there with her one year old daughter."

"Perfect get Liddie ready and Gus, it's time they helped daddy with a little project. Then I'll take them out and we'll get a tree."

"I'm on it boss, and Brian it's going to be okay you know that right. You are a great father, and no one can take that from you."

"Maybe they'd be better off without me. Could we keep what happened today between us?"

"Sure thing boss, I'll go down and get the kids.

Augustus Kinney kept looking over his shoulder and he knew that people were wondering just what he was doing. He was standing in a line that looked like it was never going to end to talk to "Sunshine Santa's Special Friend". He wanted to know what was Justin's problem and why the hell did he run away. Gus had escaped from daycare without his father knowing. Gus knew that if he was not fast enough at doing this, that they would find him and his father would be so pissed, he couldn't have that. He looked in front of him, there were still three kids ahead of him in line.

"Fuck!" he said a little to loudly.

"Language" said a chubby old lady that stood across from him clutching the hand of her grandchild.

"I didn't say it to you and I don't think I know you, so why don't you keep your opinion of me to your fucking self."

"Why I never?" said the lady getting upset.

"And you never will." spat back Gus.

He knew that he was being mean. He also knew that his mothers were looking down on him with a frown upon their faces, but he had to see Justin and get back to daycare before it was to late. Justin said he was going to help him and he can't just get his daddy going like that, and then leave. Oh no, his moms were gone now and they looked out for his father's feelings. That was his job now, it was time he gave Justin a piece of his mind.

"Shit!" screeched Justin walking to the back for his break.

"What is it? Another kid piss on you?" ask his gal pal Daphne.

"No, but I've got trouble with a capital T!

Daphne drew back the curtain to see what could have his friend this upset and she saw him. Standing impatiently in line, one Augustus Kinney and boy did he look pissed.

"Oh it's so cute Justin, you've picked up a stalker." joked Daphne.

"It's not funny Daph, and where the hell is his father, you shouldn't be able to run around town all willy nilly"

"Have you seen that kid Justin, he's huge. How the heck did he get that tall? He could pass for fifteen and you say he's ten?"

"Yea ten, going on forty, he caught me in Brian's room this morning and he had this look on his face."

"What kind of look?"

"The oh, you just fucked my daddy look! He was happy I had. He was fucking happy."

"Well good, I've seen Brian Kinney and he's hot. I even saw the man cry and I've never thought that seeing a guy shed a tear could be sexy, but when the first tear rolled down his cheek, I wanted to run and like hug him, bare his children, anything to make him feel better."

"I'm the reason for those tears, and that's why we can never be together again, I can never let him fuck me again!"

"I must have lost my hearing or something did you Justin Taylor, just say that you let Brian Kinney fuck you?"

"Yea, and Daphne it was great. I'm so glad I waited. When I close my eyes I can still feel him there inside of me and you know what, I want to feel him forever."

"My god, it's happened I'm staring in the eyes of one smitten kitten you totally love him."

"Yea I do, it would be so easy for me to be the daddy that Gus wants. Liddie his daughter is so adorable and Brian is so sensitive yet dark, butch yet sweet, I could swim in him forever."

"Damn I'm sold, where can I buy him."

"Daphne this is no laughing matter I can't be with him and I can't go back out there to that kid."

"You can and you will now buck up and put on your hat "Sunshine" and go ask the little kiddies what they want for Christmas. You like this guy stop fighting it. It's Christmas, didn't you always say you wanted to have the "Perfect Christmas" with a man you knew you loved and would be with forever?"

"Yea."

"Then go for it don't let anything stand in your way."

"What about the fact that I still can't wash the blood of his folks off my hands. Brian was Melanie's twin you know, every time I look at him I see her. I hear what she whispered to me."

Daphne's heart went out to Justin. Some might think that she was being harsh but this is what he needed. He needed Gus and Brian and he needed to get the closure for what happened to Melanie and her wife. He needed to realize that it wasn't his fault and he had absolutely nothing to be guilty for.

"Breaks over and the kids are waiting, get your ass out there!"

Justin knew that it was inevitable. "Fine I'm going."

Cynthia walked slowly into Brian's office with Liddie on her shoulder. Liddie looked very much like her mother. Cynthia had to catch herself in calling her by her given name because she hated Liddie but Brian seemed to go off anytime anyone said Lindsay's name and lets not miss and say Melanie, because you might get a shoe thrown at ya. Okay I can do this, the idea is to not let him panic.

Brian looked up from his desk and cutting, keeping the smile off his face. Cynthia walked in holding Liddie. It was a scene that was sort of hard to look at because whenever he brought Liddie to the office, lately she was drawn to Cynthia. He knew why though, it was the blond in her. Blond just as she was, Cynthia reminded Liddie of Lindsay for all he knew maybe Liddie thought she was Lindsay.

"There's my bumblebee." said Brian taking Liddie from Cynthia.

He didn't know why but every time he saw her he had to smell her hair first. It smelled like strawberries. Just like Lindsay.

"Where's Gus? I've decided to go to the park."

"Yea, Brian I need to tell you something and you have to stay calm."

"What?"

Brian didn't like the sound of that, why did she have that look on her face. This couldn't be good. What was she trying to keep from him? He fucking couldn't take it, he was going to shoot someone before five.

"Spit it out I'm not a child!"

"I went down and got Liddie for you but that's when we noticed that Gus wasn't there."

"Oh well I didn't expect him to stay, he likes to go down to accounting and see Ted."

"No Brian he's gone, he's nowhere in the building."

"Fuck!"

Okay the first ten minutes that Gus had stood here, he had decided that he was going to be nice, civil in fact. Now having to stand there for almost half an hour, and knowing that when he made it back to Liberty Ave., he was going to get punished, niceness and playtime were over. When "Mrs. Claus" gestured for him to come up he leaped on Justin's lap hard.

"So little boy tell me what you want for Christmas?" asked Justin.

"This game is over you hear, we take you out to breakfast and my dad looks around and you're gone. What the hell kind of game are you playing?"

Justin couldn't help but laugh at the language of this boy, he had spent an evening with his father and he definitely was Brian's son but he definitely shouldn't have the mouth of Brian. At least not right now.

"I had to go I was late for work."

"Bull, dad said that he would take you and you were fine with it. Something that grandmother said rattled you, that's her thing she likes to run people off. The only people she hasn't ever shaken was my mom, and my Uncle Mikey and I surely thought you were stronger than him."

"Look I'm sorry okay, maybe I can tell Santa and he can send someone else, I'm not cut out for this."

"You listen, I came to you and played with this fantasy and told you what I really wanted for Christmas. You could have laughed or kept this to yourself but you went out and found my dad and he took you home. I know you guys did what you do, but you need to know that you just can't play with my dad like that, he's sick."

"Your dad's sick, what do you know about that?"

"I know it's called LGS and he hates it. He takes medicine and he has to keep calm and can't get to happy, or sad, or too anything and it sucks. But none of that matters, you have to come and undo what you did ,he likes you."

"Gus I'm sorry I can't…wait he likes me?"

"Yea, he freaking invited you out to breakfast with us, if you were like the others, I'd have only seen you in passing and that would be it. But he let you hold Liddie and everything, so you have to come back with me because he's going to freak."

"Why would your dad be freaking out?"

"He sort of thinks that I'm in daycare at the office."

"You're a piece of work aren't you!"

Craig Taylor couldn't keep the look off his face, as he sat across from his wife in there favorite restaurant for lunch.

"What's got you so happy?" asked his wife Jennifer.

"When I was getting ready to leave here, I overheard Daphne and Justin talking and you won't believe what I heard."

"Well don't leave me in suspense, is he going back to work? What?"

"He has a new boyfriend, I think they're in love."

"Oh." replied Jen.

"Oh, I give you this juicy tidbit and all you have to say is oh?"

"Well I mean I love our son and you know that I have no problems with him being gay, but lets look at his track record shall we. We have Chris Hobbs, who he sat at school with everyday, who seemed to love him but in the end what does he do, bash him in the head with a baseball bat. Then there was Cody. Cody was young and cute and he appeared to be harmless, next thing we know Justin is shaving off all his gorgeous hair and walking around in a Pink shirt Straight Bashing folks. That my friend is crazy. Don't even get me started on Ethan Gold. How could someone so well educated, and well mannered, could be dressed to the nine and still looked wet. I mean the guy was greasy. Seems like every time he touched me I'd be wet, or every where he sat he left an oil spill. Do tell me sweet husband, what has our son decided to date this time around?"

"Brian Fucking Kinney!" he replied with a smirk.

"Oh well maybe just maybe things are looking up replied Jennifer.

Justin and Gus walked into Kinnetik hand and hand. You could just tell that something was up by the way the people were looking at them as they walked down the corridors. Some were relieved when they saw that Gus was in fact alive but others were just shaking there heads as if they were ducking for cover. They rounded that last corner and you could here Brian before you could see him.

"I think he's mad." replied Gus.

"You think." replied Justin.

They entered the office very slowly.

"Oh hey dad look who I found?"

Before Brian could think straight he was right on Gus, right in his face.

"Do you fucking realize what I've been going through for the last hour. I didn't fucking know where you were. This is Liberty Ave. and you don't look ten and then some folks might like the fact that you are ten or that you're my son. I should just…..

"Daddy no!" Gus screamed stopping Brian from speaking.

Brian didn't realize it but his hand was in the air as if he was going to strike Gus. He couldn't believe it. He knew for a fact that he would never, he would never hurt Gus. He wouldn't be the man that his mother told him he would become. He wouldn't he couldn't he couldn't become that man.

"Gus I'm so sorry." Brian whispered releasing Gus.

"Dad it's fine I know that you….

"Go." whispered Brian cutting off Gus.

"No I know that I shouldn't have left and it was wrong of me,but dad I'm sorry, you don't have to worry ,I know that you would….

"Go now! Cynthia take him upstairs now!"

"Brian are you alright? Asked Cynthia before she left.

"I'm fine, take him to get Liddie I'm taking them to my mother's."

"Dad no."

"Do as I ask Gus, please.

Justin watched as a fearful Brian watched Cynthia leave with a worried looking Gus. He got it now. He watched Brian sit at his desk and drop his hand on it. He doubted if Brian even realized, he was there. He understood now, that was Brian's fear. Someone had done a real number on him, and they had used his disease as the gas to light the flame. Bastards, well that ended today.

"Brian?" Justin questioned.

Brian lifted his head to see Justin. A face he had wanted to see since this morning but now that he saw it he wished he hadn't. He knew that look. It was the look of pity, he knew Justin knew, he had seen him looking in his medicine cabinet. He knew what he had, that's why he wouldn't get his hopes up for Justin. That just maybe, after everything that happened, he would get this gift. Justin. Yea right. That's why he didn't do love. Love was for lesbians and they were dead and gone.

"Why the fuck are you still here?" Brian asked roughly, hoping to run Justin off.

"Are you alright Brian?"

"I'm fine, there's no need to be afraid. I'm just calming down, I'm fine, I'm not going to hurt my son."

"Oh Brian, I know that. I know more about you than you know, no need to calm yourself, it doesn't work like that."

"What doesn't work like that? What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I'll admit it, after I spent that night, of what can only be described as true bliss with you last night and you were so kind this morning, I did what any guy would do, I rummaged through your medicine cabinet."

"I know, so now you know my deepest. I mean, it was written right on the bottle what it was for, but I don't have that. I've got something far worse."

"LGS can be dangerous but you're not contagious You are more of a danger to yourself than others, and you're not him."

"I'm not who?"

"I recognized that look, you were scared you were going to hurt Gus, considering how close you and your mother are ,it couldn't be her, so it had to be your father. He hurt you didn't he?"

Brian didn't know who this kid thought he was, coming in here and trying to make him feel. He didn't feel, at least not with someone like him. He didn't want his pity. He didn't need anyone sticking around out of guilt or obligation, because of what he had told his mother. Brian was shocked when he looked up and saw a tear run down Justin's cheek, and he was looking at him weirdly. What the fuck was that look? Is that how love looks?

"Yes." was the gurgled one word reply that Justin received from Brian.

He was beautiful. How could he do this? How could he run away from Brian, when he knew the man was going through so much and he was trying to do right by his kids, for the holidays. Justin could see the hurt in Brian's eyes. Brian needed someone to help him stay sane, that would be him. He would let go of what he did, for awhile and help Brian. That's how he would make amends. He'd help Brian make the holidays for the children the best. He put his hand up against Brian's cheek and on contact, one single tear escaped Brian's eyes. Brian couldn't help it, he took this beautiful man in his arms and he began to cry.

"Shh, it's okay Brian. It's okay, none of this matters, you can cry I won't tell anyone."

Brian let himself go, Justin had a feeling Brian had been holding this in since that fatal night. The night that he had taken Brian's family away from him. Oh yes, this was his job now. He would love Brian forever, because he could tell the man already loved him. This would be the first of many Christmases and he wouldn't let anything or anyone, stand in his way of making Brian happy. Justin just hoped that when the man found out the truth about him, he didn't hate him.


	6. Chapter 6

p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Chapter 6: Do you see what I See?/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Gus Kinney ran into The Liberty Avenue Dinner pulling a very exhausted looking Brian behind him. Behind Brian, Justin walked in very slowly carrying Liddie who was asleep in her carrier. They sat down at the back booth and picked up the menu for their lunch. Debbie Novotny watched them from the moment they walked in and she couldn't stop the smile that came to her face. Brian had been so sad because of Melanie and Lindsay and she feared for him, she didn't want this to have a toll on his health he didn't need this, not with Joan looking for anyway to get her hands on the kids to make amends for what she'd done. She liked what she saw though. It was Brian and his family, and he had that cute little blonde with him. Now this was her time to get answers, because Michael nor any of the other members of her "family" were around./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Hey boys, look like you had a busy day? What will it be?" asked Deb./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Grandma, Justin and Uncle Brian and I had the best time today. We went and got a tree for daddy's place. Later after we have lunch we are going to go home and put it up and then Justin said that we'll make hot chocolate and roast chestnuts, and then he's going to help me make my own stocking can you believe that?" said an overly excited Gus./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Debbie was loving every moment of it, she loved how still when Gus got so excited, he would refer to Brian as his uncle. The poor kid only knew that Brian was his father for the last five years and that was only because…./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Deb, can we fucking order!" yelled Brian snapping her from her train of thought./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Well aren't we just a bucket of Sunshine today, what crawled up you and died?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""The tree. I made the mistake of having Justin help me get a tree, he made it turn into a three hour trip. He's there hugging trees and he and Gus are running around like children. People were giving me weird looks, and Liddie was screaming her ass off, we don't have to worry about problems with her lungs she's got two good ones./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Have you picked up her dress yet? Asked Deb./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Dress, what dress?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Her Christmas dress at Little Darlings just off of Tremont, Lindsay had picked it out just for her, for the pictures she set up."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Deb after everything that has happened you don't expect me to still do that do you?/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I certainly do, it's a family photo and you and your kids should do it. It'll be your Christmas card next year, Gus still wants to do it, don't you?/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Well I do but, I just wish…..Gus trailed off./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""No what is it Sonnyboy? Questioned Brian./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Well in the beginning I didn't want to do the picture. But ever since that day in your office when we started hanging out with Justin, I thought that maybe I wanted to do the picture. But I only wanted to do it, if maybe Justin would agree to be in it with us."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian didn't know what to say or do. A part of him wanted to ask Gus was he nuts. They had taken up the past week of Justin's life and well he couldn't impose on him to do something like that, even though part of him was thanking Gus because he could use him and get Justin to stay. Even though he was screaming for Justin to stay. He couldn't explain it, he just couldn't get enough of the man. In the past week since Justin had decided to help him out with the children and his mother, he really liked him but could he tell him that. No, he couldn't and besides no one would want to stick around considering…../p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I'll do it!" said Justin breaking Brian from his thoughts./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""What? No Justin, we couldn't impose on you like that, you've done enough."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Justin smiled trying to hid the hurt that was in his heart, when Brian didn't want him to be a part of his life anymore. He had done everything to help Brian out with his mother and he thought that maybe Brian was warming up to him. He desperately wanted the man to make love to him like he had the first night, or even better let him fuck him, but not a touch like that since the first night. Could he really not be interested? It hurt him to think that, but then again maybe it was for the best. I mean part of him wanted Brian to want him because he wanted him, but another part of him didn't want him to want him. He scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed and he still couldn't get their blood off his hands. He was torn from his thoughts by his phone ringing. He went outside and took the call./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Hello?" said Justin./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I'm glad that I got you, listen Derrick fell and broke his ankle, we're going to need you to come in tonight," said Daphne./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I'm not coming in tonight, I'm with Brian and his family, they invited me over tonight and I'm going to get to meet everyone."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Justin, if you're so afraid of him finding out, why do you keep putting yourself further and further into his life? How do you think he's going to feel when all of this comes out? He's going to feel betrayed. I know you are doing this for the boy, but how do you think this will make a happy holiday for him? It'll make it the worst Christmas ever. Get down here now!"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I'm not coming!" Justin shouted as he hung up on his best friend./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"When Justin returned to the table, Brian was paying and getting Liddie./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Where are you going Bri?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I've decided that Liddie and I are going to go and get this dress and you and Gus are going to buy my present since he wants to do that without me knowing about it. Then you and I are going to go over to Deb's tonight, ain't that right Deb?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""You better believe it mister, Brian has been hiding you long enough."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Okay, well lets go Gus, we'll see you later."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Olivia Chambers stood in Little Darlings looking for a dress for her little girl Hannah. Hannah was one now and this was her first Christmas and she wanted to get something very nice for her to wear but something she saw out of the corner of her eye was disturbing. One Brian Kinney was standing across from her. He was talking to himself, laughing to himself really. It bothered her, why was he there? He had some nerve following her in such an intimate moment with her daughter. Something had to be done, she had to make it, so he knew that she didn't appreciate being stalked./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian knew he must look nuts. He was talking to himself picking out shoes. Well he wasn't really talking to himself, Liddie sat at his feet on the floor playing with the last pair he had put on her, but from a certain focal point he guess he could look insane./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Okay so we know we want black right?" Brian asked Liddie waiting as if he thought she'd answer./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Black it is. I love black it's our color Liddie. It goes perfect with your little dress."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian looked out of the corner of his eye and she saw one angry looking Olivia Chambers heading his way. What the fuck could she want, he wondered as he picked Liddie up from the floor and then he noticed her face soften./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian couldn't help it, the little girl definitely had his heart. The moment he picked her up, she wrapped her little arms around his neck and put her head on his shoulder. She laughed to herself and he couldn't keep the smile off his face when he heard her gurgle, something that definitely sounded like Da./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Mr. Kinney, I must say that I'm surprised to see you here." said a suspicious Olivia Chambers./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Well it's Christmas time and Liddie and I have to get ready for our Christmas picture, don't we Liddie? Give daddy a smile."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Wow, I must say that I never pictured you for a family man, Brian where's your wife?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Liddie here is my youngest, she's almost seven months. She has an older brother Augustus he's ten. As for the wife, she's dead."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Oh Mr. Kinney, I'm so sorry to hear that. I wasn't aware of that, how long has it been?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Not very long, right after Thanksgiving."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Olivia didn't know what to believe anymore. Her assistant had told her that Brian was very charming and that if he wanted anything he'd get it. That's why she was so upset when she saw him. She thought that he had used people he knew to track her down at this store with her daughter. She also heard that he was a gay slut, from other circles. She didn't have a problem with the man being gay but the slut part was what had her worried. She didn't want to be associated with a man who lead a colorful life, but now here was a young man, with a child no doubt, and he mentioned a wife. What was going on here?/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Mr. Kinney, I don't mean to intrude but I was told that you were gay, and that you were single."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""It's Brian, don't call me Mr. it makes me feel old. Yes I'm gay, it's a funny story about Liddie, it's a funny story about how I come to be her father. One for the record books actually."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Olivia thought that maybe she was wrong about him, there was just something so warm and caring about his face, and that daughter of his. She was gorgeous. She wanted to know the story and it looked like he was willing to share it, so she thought of a way of spending a few moments with this very intriguing man./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Brian, I'd love to hear the story. Maybe we could go over there to the food court and grab a bite and you could tell me the story. I'm not trying to pry, but I've been given the wrong impression of you and well, now I sort of feel bad that I didn't keep our appointment last week. Maybe you could tell me some of your ideas. Maybe I shouldn't be asking that, I mean this is your family time with your daughter."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""No I could use something to eat, and Liddie as well. We can go and have a seat."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Justin had to admit, that spending the day with Gus was becoming more and more enjoyable. He had totally forgotten about Daphne calling him. He was not going back to that place, he was on vacation until after the holidays and maybe after he would quit. He didn't need a real profession. Lindsay had told him how incredibly talented he was and she had helped him sell some things. He was successful at his art. He didn't need his job. All he really needed, was standing next to him chatting away. Oh and Liddie and Brian. That's all he needed was them./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"He had learned a lot talking to Gus over the past hour, as they picked out Brian's gift but the most heartfelt thing and yet sad thing was how Gus himself had come into existence. The story was that Brian and Lindsay were high school sweethearts, but they realized after a couple years, that they were both looking for something else and Brian left for college. When he came back, apparently the something else Lindsay was looking for, was his sister, Melanie. Turns out Brian and Melanie was twins. Finding that out, Justin thought back to the few times he had met Melanie and yea, she and Brian were one in the same./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Gus told Justin how his mother couldn't have children and his momma Lindsay, had in fact, carried him. Gus told how they had picked Brian because he was a good man and at least this way, even though Melanie didn't carry him, she wouldn't just be his mother, she would be his aunt. That meant they were related not only by love but by blood, and that was important for them all to be joined by blood. So he was indeed part of Lindsay and Melanie and that made Justin think that Brian had a heart, far bigger than he thought. It was also very flattering that Lindsay and Melanie didn't care about Brian's condition and the fact that either one of the children could have been passed the gene, but neither one of them had been./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Justin was having a good time with Gus but he started to get scared when Justin told him the reason, he was finally told that his Uncle Brian was in fact, his father. Apparently, Brian had been diagnosed with Cancer, when Gus was five and things didn't look good. So they told Gus, so that he could spend as much time with Brian as possible. Brian recovered, but that got Justin wondering if Brian was healthy? It had been five years, if there were no more flair ups, then he was in remission. Damn, now he really wanted to get to Brian, he needed to touch him. They'd be at Deb's soon enough./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"The dinner at Deb's was going great. She really had a huge family now. There was Emmett and George, Teddy and Blake, her precious Michael and his partner Ben. They even had a new baby girl,named Imani now. She was beautiful and she adored her big brother Hunter, who was home for Christmas. They talked and it was hard because the absence of Lindsay and Melanie was stifling the mood, until Emmett brought up a subject./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""So have you guys met him yet? What did you think Mrs. Kinney, do you like Justin?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Joan couldn't stop the smile that was spreading across her face, she had big news and she couldn't wait for Brian to get there so she could tell him. All the people here were her family, she knew that right now they were liking her allot and they were still welcoming to her, so she would tell them first./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Oh Em I just adore Justin and he adores Gus and Lindsay so much, I can't wait for he and Brian to get here, so I can tell them my news."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""What's the news?" asked Emmett./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I went to the court and stopped my motion. I certainly didn't want to take the children from Brian but you know how he lives his life. I was afraid that he would never find someone to let into his heart, I'm to blame for him being closed off. I know this. I thought that Brian would never want to love anyone but when I went over to the house that morning, and saw Justin, there was no way you could miss it. He loves my boy so much."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Michael was observing everyone smiling, but there was something off about his partner, Ben. Ben's smile was more of a forced one and this concerned him./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""What is it Ben?" asked Michael./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Its just every time Brian gets a good one, they find out about him and they leave him. They are as frightened off about the Epilepsy, as most people are scared off by my HIV status. I just hope that this one, is a keeper."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian sat in the car outside of Deb's house looking at his mother's car contemplating should he go in or not. He knew that his driver was ready to leave so now was the time to make the decision. Was he to go in or not./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""We're going in Thomas. I won't need the service anymore tonight Justin's bringing the car and he will be with me."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Are you sure Mr. Kinney, I still have a little time before I need to get home?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""No, we're good thanks Thomas."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian tipped the man and got out of the car with Liddie. Liddie had actually let Olivia hold her. She was blonde though and his little girl had a thing for blondes. He could do this, he could have dinner with his mother and not jump across the table and kill her couldn't he? Yea he could, she loved him. He understood what she was doing, didn't mean it still didn't hurt but he understood why she was doing what she was doing. Okay Liddie lets go see Grandmas./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Everyone was enjoying the dinner that was everyone. except Joan, Brian, and Michael. Brian was waiting for the other shoe to drop when it came to his mother and Joan and Michael were concerned for Brian because he kept clearing his throat and it was as if he were uncomfortable in his seat. He was feeling antsy and getting agitated. Often there were no warning signs for seizures but some people experienced a few ticks before they exploded into something that at times could be mild and barely noticeable but at other times they could be hard and violent and horrible to watch. Joan didn't want Brian to have one of his episodes before she talked more to Justin about it. She didn't want him to be scared off./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Ben couldn't help it, he knew that he had seen Justin somewhere but he couldn't put his finger on it. That blonde hair, those blue eyes, he had seen that kid somewhere, but where was it. Ben was about to ask since the room had become so quiet, you could hear a pin drop, but Joan Kinney broke the silence first./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""How are you today Brian?" Joan asked testing the waters./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Fine." was Brian's one answer reply to his mother he didn't feel like getting into it. His head was hurting all of a sudden./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I went to the courthouse today and I dropped my motion. I think that you are doing a fine job with the children and I'm proud of you. I think you've found a good man in Justin," said Joan./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Justin couldn't keep the smile off his face. Even if it all ended now at least he had done his part, he had made sure that Joan had given Gus his father back. He looked to the left and Gus was grinning from ear to ear./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Mom, there's something I need to tell you about Justin," replied Brian./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""No, now you don't have to tell me anything, I see the two of you. You've been here an hour and although you haven't kissed or held hands, you just can't stop touching him or smiling at him and I know that if I weren't here you, would openly touch him. But as I told your sister before we lost her, I have no problem with you being gay. Which I don't, I was just concerned about the company that you chose to keep before Justin. Justin, the artist and caring man. You've found a good one Brian, you better not let him go."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian couldn't express what he was feeling. He was happy. He was going to be able to keep his family. He turned to Justin to say something, but his vision clouded and before he could do or say anything, he felt himself slipping away, he knew it hurt when he hit the floor./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Joan pulled her grandson aside, and was about to grab Brian but was shocked by what happened next, she was the only one to be shocked though. Michael was frozen in his spot but he was about to grab Brian as well, but now everyone stood back in awe./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Justin had grabbed Brian before he hit the floor. He quickly turned him on his side. He had seen seizures like this many times and Brian was a fighter. Some people were aware of what was happening and would try and fight through the seizure, as if it was an assailant, but others would just let go and let the body take over. Brian was a fighter, Justin could see the frantic look in his eyes and how Brian would try to speak. Justin made sure Brian wasn't biting his tongue and he whispered words of comfort to him. He needed Brian to let go. He told him to just let go and eventually he did. Brian's arms and legs were kicking frantically and he was making a weird yelping sound and then he wet himself. Justin knew Brian would be embarrassed by that, even though no one else in the room was. Emmett handed Justin a bag and told him it was clothes that Brian kept there, if needed in times like this. Justin watched the clock for the time , it had been five minutes and Brian still was going. Justin was going to have to call an ambulance, he knew it. Then everything would be blown but that wasn't important. Brian was important. Justin didn't exactly know when he began to cry, but he heard Debbie tell him that everything was going to be fine. Brian's body began to relax. Justin looked at the clock and it had only been six minutes. Brian was looking at him. He was back. He was blinking to clear his mind and try to take in what had happened, but the look on everyone's face told him and then he noticed he was wet. He had wet himself, in front of Justin. He would surely leave now./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Brian, do you know where you are?" Justin asked in a soothing voice./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I'm on the floor Sunshine, shit don't, don't look at me I need to get up."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian stood up to quickly and the blood rushed to his head, making him dizzy and he began to stumble. Before Michael could react, Justin was right there steadying Brian, which was different. Brian never had someone else be there for him. When he looked in Justin's eyes, he didn't see pity, he saw genuine concern and that look again. Okay, he was convinced, that had to be what love looked like./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Michael couldn't help it. He was still frozen, looking at Justin, guide Brian upstairs to help him shower and get cleaned up. Michael jumped when he felt the familiar arms of his lover, wrap around him./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""It's okay Michael, Brian is fine."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I know, do you see what I see Ben?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Ben looked up and saw Justin and Brian walking up the stairs. Justin was so patient, he understood that when a person comes out of having a seizure they can be scared, or confused and he was taking his time with Brian. But yes, even he saw it./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Yea I see it."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I can't believe it, Brian Kinney is in love."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Yea, and this time, the person actually loves him back."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Michael wrapped his arms around his lover and kissed him. He was happy that Brian had finally found someone, to love him in every way. He use to think that person would be him, and he knew for the longest time Brian hoped it would be him. Now he knew that Brian had moved on. God, it was good to feel this happy and know that Brian was happy as well. Maybe it would be a good holiday after all./p 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Falling Fast

Justin quickly found the bathroom and begin to run the shower. He looked at Brian, he was leaning up against the door frame practically asleep. Justin was use to this, the seizures take a toll on the person experiencing them, it's not uncommon for the person to become tired. He'd let Brian rest but he knew that he would want to get out of his soiled suit.

"Do you want me to help you shower?" Justin asked a drowsy Brian.

Brian was so tired, that all he could do was nod his head and pray to god, Justin came before he hit the floor.

Justin couldn't keep the smile off of his face. Brian was so adorable. It was going to be very hard stripping down to nothing and bathing him, without fucking him or letting him fuck him, but he could do it. He had to take care of Brian and show him that he was there for him. That nothing mattered except him.

Brian hated this, he fucking hated it. Not only did he fall to the floor and commence to shaking like a chicken with it's head cut off, he had pissed on himself. Now a man, that he'd been trying the last couple of days not to throw down and fuck, was in the shower with him, helping him wash all that remained of his little accident. How degrading. Brian just decided that he wasn't going to say anything and just let Justin help him with his bath. After the bath, they walked to Michael's old room and Justin help Brian to bed.

Molly walked into her family home and tried to run upstairs without her mother seeing her, but as soon as her foot hit the top step, her mother called her down. She could see the look of worry on her mother's face, she immediately knew who she was worried about. She was worried about Justin. This conversation was going to be difficult.

"Molly I need to talk to you about Brian?"

"What about him mom, has he called?"

"No it's just well we know that your brother is seeing him."

"Yea they've been hanging out for a while, I saw them picking out a tree the other day. They looked so cute together, sort of like a little family. With Gus being dark haired and Liddie being a blonde they all just fit, you know."

"Honey, Daphne called earlier, apparently they wanted Justin to come in tonight but he refused. She told me why Justin has been hanging out at the store more now and the real reason for his holiday vacation. Didn't you think that maybe you or your brother, should have told us the whole story? Now he is over there at that house, probably in that man's bed. Where is his heart, where is the Justin we raised!"

"Mom, its not like that, he didn't really kill them and you know that. It's just his logical way of feeling responsible for everything and it's eating him up inside. I told him, if he would just tell Brian, that things would be fine, that he would understand. He won't though, he thinks that Brian will hate him. Do you think he will mom?"

"We're having a Christmas party next week. I'm going to invite Brian."

"Oh mom he'll love it, he really never gets to get away because of the kids. It'll be great for them to have some alone time."

"I like Brian and I'm inviting him over. But you will convince your brother, that he's to tell Brian that night or I'll tell him for him. Yes mom, well I better get upstairs I need to make a call.

The dinner was still going on at Deb's, no one dared to go upstairs to see what was going on. Everyone was just overtaken by the care of Justin for Brian and no one knew what to say. They tried to continue eating, but everyone wanted to know what was going on upstairs. No one wanted to go up and see. Ben was the first to break the silence.

"Does anyone know what Justin does? I know him from somewhere, I just can't place it."

"Oh, when I had breakfast with them the other morning, Justin told me that he's an artist. Apparently he's very successful. Justin Taylor.

"Holy shit!" gasped Michael.

"That's Justin Taylor, don't you guys remember, right before the accident Lindsay said that she was going to be working with that guy. I heard that last year, he had a painting sell for fifty thousand, but do you know why he looks so familiar to all of us? I couldn't put my finger on it and I don't even think Brian recalls it."

"Why?" asked Joan

"Remember Melanie and Lindsay's wedding? Brian was so upset that they were actually doing it. Not because they were doing it but because you know that stuff was happening with Kip Thomas and he got really drunk and that kid crashed? Remember he was with the cute black girl and he and Brian were dancing and Melanie walked up and smacked him?"

"Oh my, he's the kid that got bashed!" said Deb making a recollection.

"Yea, Brian is friends with his sister you guys know Molly. Wow it really is a small world," said Ben.

Everyone went back to eating wondering what was going on upstairs.

Justin knew that it had to be early morning/late night. The room he was in was completely dark and for a minute he had no idea where he was, until he looked down and it all came back to him. Brian had had the seizure and he had taken care of him. He leaned in closer, to sniff Brian's hair. He couldn't help but smile, it smelt just like it did that night Brian had taken him home and fucked him. Justin had to think of different things, so Brian wouldn't awaken to his hard cock, poking him in the butt. Damn poking in the butt, he really needed to clear his head.

Brian's eyes snapped open and he knew exactly where he was. The hideous wallpaper was enough to take him back, he didn't even have to look at the tack board that had photos of he and Mikey and their many transformations, as the years went by. He was in their bedroom, he had a seizure and Michael had brought him upstairs and taken care of him, like he always did. He would have to thank him for that. Brian rolled over and came face to face with his sleeping porcelain angel. Brian ran from the room and into the bathroom. All of the contents in his stomach, from that night came crashing back to him.

After praying to the porcelain god, Brian got up and looked at himself in the mirror. He had a bruise on the side of his face. He must've hit it on something when he was having his "fit". He couldn't believe that Justin had seen that. He remembered everything now, how he fell from his chair and jerked, pissed and shit on himself. Justin had then, walked him up the stairs and bathed him. God, he was disgusted. Brian went upstairs and checked on his kids, left a note for Deb and got the fuck out of there.

Gus and Debbie were both shocked, when they got up the next morning and found Justin in the kitchen alone.

"Where's Dad Justin?" asked Gus.

"Oh he left a note. I guess he had an early meeting or something, because he left. It's all right here Deb, he said that he'll be around, around lunchtime for the kids."

Deb could see the sad look on Justin's face.

"Hey kiddo, why don't you run upstairs and check on your sister for me, okay?"

"Sure thing Grandma, be right back."

Debbie watched as Gus happily ran up the stairs, then she took a seat beside Justin.

"What's the matter kid?" she asked.

"I don't know. Brian left you a note, I know that but you see, he didn't say anything to me. He left like four this morning. It was four in the morning and before that, he was in the bathroom, throwing his guts up. I started to go in and check on him, but I don't think he wanted me too. I'm so confused, did I do something wrong?"

"You've been spending a lot of time with Brian lately, so I guess you can tell, that he is a very proud man. What happened last night was for the best." explained Deb.

"What?" questioned Justin.

"Brian saw last night, that you like him, for him. You love him I can see that, any fool can see that. You accept all of him and what happened didn't make you turn away. You were there for him in every way, this has made him scared. Brian never knew that someone could love him, for him. Melanie and Lindsay, they loved him for who he was. Once they were gone, Brian didn't think he'd ever find another cheerleader. Your cheering him on and he's scared. He's scared that you'll leave, but mostly he's scared that you'll stay."

Brian sat in his shrink's office, just looking at him like he was a mad man. He didn't overreact. This was something that he just couldn't handle. He was going to get rid of Justin before he became disgusted with him.

"What did you say?" Brian asked again.

:"I said, that you need to let people in, okay. I know that things are different now that Melanie and Lindsay are gone. But there is a place for you, in the heart of others besides, the two of them. You like Justin and he likes you. It's freaking Christmas in a few days, try and be happy. I mean you're forty now and you have two kids. You aren't the type of man that men Justin's age, are looking for."

"Gee thanks, and you're my shrink?"

"I'm not just your shrink, I'm your friend. I know where you're coming from. Look at me Brian. I'm Blake, a man who sold his body for drugs. Who let the man that loved him the most, pay for his rehab and then leave. There were many times, he found me on the floor of Babylon, lying in my own filth. It was because I made it happen, unlike you. You can't help what happened to you Brian. Let him in. He loves you."

"I gotta go." said Brian as he bolted from the room.

Justin walked into his job, there to greet him at the switchboard ,was Daphne. She had lost all that joy she had, when she was helping him out at his dad's store. Now she was giving him that look. She wanted to know what was going on, well he wanted to share it with someone, so he might as well get it over with.

"What?"

"What? We needed you last night and you just blew us off. You can't just blow this off, this is your career Justin," Daphne scolded.

"Maybe I don't want it to be anymore. Maybe all those doctors were right and I don't need to be in this profession. I mean with the gimpy hand and sometimes my mind does wander, so you know maybe everyone was right and I should just stick to painting and give all of this up."

"Don't you ever say that you hear me! If you do that, then fucking Hobbs wins and we agreed that he would never win, at anything. What happened was a fucking accident and what has gotten you to acting this way, anyway?"

"I'm falling okay!"

"What?"

I'm like falling fast. No matter what I'm doing or where I'm going, I can't stop thinking about him. When I close my eyes, I see him on top of me, pounding into me and I love him Daphne. I love him so fucking much. I know what I did is going to make him leave me, but I don't know, I don't care. I want this to last as long as it can. Then last night it happened. Now I think that he may really love me, because of what one of his mothers said."

Daphne's head was spinning. What was he talking about? One of his mothers?

"What are you talking about Justin?" Daphne asked still confused.

"Last night I went over to his adoptive mother's house and we all had dinner it was great. That's why I told you, I couldn't come to work. But right in the middle of dinner, Brian falls to the floor and has a seizure right there. I did everything I could to help him. But before it was over, he'd you know, all over himself. None of that mattered to me Daph, you know that. I took him upstairs and I took care of him. But he got up in the middle of the night and fled from the bed, leaving me in it, like I was poison. I have to get him to understand, that I don't fucking care about that disease. I will Daph, this Christmas will be the first of many. I don't care either. I don't care about this job or anything else, all I care about is Brian!"

Daphne threw a file at Justin and walked from behind the desk.

"You listen to me, are you listening?" Daphne asked as Justin nodded.

"You are great at what you do and if you love him, you have to tell him what happened that night. I think if you tell him, then you'll realize, that you had nothing to do with what happened. There's something else, something missing and if you would just stop blaming yourself, you would have figured it out by now. Now take this file and go into room 47 and do your fucking job. Straighten this out here, then when you go on break, you and I will figure out the Brian situation, okay?"

"Okay, and thanks Daph. I knew that you would understand."

"Of course I do, now go.

Justin couldn't keep the smile off his face as he walked toward the room. He knew that talking to Daphne would make him feel better. He indeed was falling fast for Brian. If he could just get Brian, to get passed killing his sister, then maybe they could have a Merry Christmas. Justin couldn't keep the smile off his face, as he turned the knob.

"Hi, I was just looking at the file, let's see if we can help your little girl out. I'm Dr. Taylor and why don't you tell me what seems to be the….."

All the thoughts that Justin was thinking, disappeared from his mind, when he was now looking into the faces of a very surprised Michael and Ben.


End file.
